What do you do when you’re scared of weight loss success?
My weight has always been an issue for me. Genetically speaking, I’m not built to be overweight. I know this. I’ve known this for quite some time. Over the course of the past few years, my physical health has begun suffering due to my weight (which leads to more health problems). I know that I have to do something. I even know what to do and what works for my body. So why have I struggled so much to get the weight off and keep it off?
It took some time, but I finally realized that I am scared of success. I am terrified of being looked at differently. I’m equally terrified of being treated differently. The thought of garnering more attention, whether positive or negative, gives me anxiety. And while I realize that all of these are valid, it doesn’t change the effects the extra weight is having on my body.
I’m also aware that, along with battling bipolar depression, I have a hard time establishing new routines. The root cause? I’m not sure. I would imagine laziness is part of the equation. But I also think there’s more to it. I’m cognizant that this isn’t a war I can win without consistency, but I am not sure how to overcome my roadblocks.
So what is to be done? Again, I’m not 100% sure. I’ve taken the first step of discussing my concerns with my therapist. While the thought of success is overwhelming, I am looking forward to the journey. I’m looking forward to learning more about myself. But most importantly, I’m excited that I’ve finally gotten to the point where I am using the resources around me. My weight loss/fitness journey is mine, but that doesn’t mean I have to do it all on my own.
Here’s to overcoming the fear of success and finally achieving the health I deserve. Stay tuned...
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